The Cullens, here and there
by tropicalsplash.juicyfruit
Summary: Bella, Edward, Renesmee, Alice, and Emmett in different places around the world, frolicking with local wildlife... Need I say more? *Bella's POV, please read & review*
1. Chapter 1

**Cullens in Canada**

"Put her _down_," Edward warned, glaring at Emmett as he held Renesmee upside-down, six feet off the ground.

Emmett let go of one of her feet to put a finger to his lips and point to a clueless moose standing a short distance away. Edward raised an eyebrow at him, and shook his head. Emmett nodded, sneaking towards the moose and lowering Renesmee carefully onto its back, upside-up and downside-down.

The moose raised its head sharply, confused. After a few seconds of looking in every direction, it looked at the ground again. Renesmee kicked it like a horse, and it started walking away from the bush it was eating. They moved slowly – not nearly as fast as Alice was.

She and her moose charged by, and we moved out of the way to accommodate the terrified animal. Renesmee's moose ran into the forest, moving fast enough to make her scream aloud.

"Run, Elliot, run!" Alice yelled, laughing like an overexcited child. Her moose bucked, and she held onto its antlers, bouncing along happily. "Follow that moose, Elliot! Follow Bullwinkle!" She turned her moose – Elliot – towards the place where Renesmee disappeared with_ her_ moose – Bullwinkle – and followed them into the trees.

I rolled my eyes, turning away from the scene. Most of this _hunt_ consisted of finding moose – or, as Emmett called them, _meese_ – just to scare them away. The first one we saw was going to be my lunch, but instead, Emmett decided to go moose-tipping, and it didn't feel right to eat an animal that was stuck in the snow because its antlers had dug into the ground.

Still, I was relatively entertained. Edward stayed beside me the entire time, laughing at everything – except the moose-back riding, which he said was unfair to the moose. I had shrugged, thinking that it looked like a lot of fun.

Emmett stood on the other side of the small clearing with a huge grin on his face. He turned to us and said, "You two can go do whatever; I gotta find a polar bear before we leave." He ran straight north, and I wondered how long it would be before he reached Nunavut.

"Come on," Edward said excitedly, towing me through the trees in no certain direction. I sincerely hoped he wasn't going to throw a polar bear at me.

"Where are we going?" I whispered, looking at the white forest around me. I saw a grey squirrel run up a tree and said, "Hey look, it's Rocky!"

Edward chuckled and stopped walking suddenly, pointing to a rather large and scary-looking moose. We stood there looking at it for about a minute before he picked me up and slung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I didn't object because I knew it would be useless. I could, however, get a point across.

"When I get back, you are _so_ murdered," I muttered, and he flipped me onto the moose with a wild grin.

As soon as I hit its back, it jumped and started running. I turned my body quickly, not wanting to ride on this particular moose at all, but deciding Western was better than English. I took a note from Alice and held onto its antlers tightly.

Even though I was irrationally scared of this moose, I was having fun. We flew through the forest at a very fast pace for a moose of its size. I laughed as the moose wove around trees and bushes, and, being foolish, I closed my eyes and let go of its antlers, balancing myself easily.

After a few minutes of running madly, I heard Alice's voice. She seemed to be explaining something to Renesmee, on the topic of polar bears. We came closer, and I heard both of their moose run off.

"Bella, watch out!" Alice called, and I opened my eyes just as my moose stopped dead in its tracks, flinging me off its back at a ridiculous speed.

I was in the air – upside-down – for one full second before I flew through a tree, taking the top half with me as I continued through the forest. I collided with another tree before I slid up the side of a hill, making the two tree halves behind me explode into hundreds of pieces. I slid up the hill on my back, wondering if I would go through the hill if I planted my feet and deciding not to.

I slowed down quickly and came to a full stop at the top of the hill.

_Oh no,_ I thought as I felt myself start to slide down the other side. _Oh nonononononononononononononono!_ I pushed my feet into the snow, and the force of gravity pulled me so I was standing, looking down at another part of the forest. I was a little bit afraid to turn around, because I didn't want to see the damage I had caused. I knew I had to, though.

I pursed my lips and turned slowly to see my path of destruction and cringed when I saw that it was worse – _way worse_ – than I had hoped.

Coming up the hill, I had stripped away all signs of life, leaving overturned dirt from underneath snow and grass that was no longer there. The trees at the bottom were gone, and only a few stumps were left. Chunks of wood were scattered along where I hit the hill, and I assumed some of them had killed the other trees. Straight down the line, the two trees I flew through were nonexistent – just two more stumps for Canadian wildlife to worry about.

I shook the snow and grass off of me. There was even some dirt up the back of my shirt, from when I came up the hill. There were chunks of tree in my hair, along with most of the grass and snow.

Alice, Renesmee, and Edward came running out of the forest to stand at the bottom of the hill. I looked down at them and waved, wondering how many animals I had killed, along with the trees. Their expressions were relatively neutral, as if it was normal for me to fly off a moose and through a forest. I felt my face change from a disappointed frown to a huge grin, finding myself saying something amazingly stupid.

"_That was awesome! Can we do it again?!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Cullens in Australia**

"Umm... where's Alice?"

Renesmee and I looked at Edward, who was holding in a laugh. He just grinned and looked into the distance, giving us enough information to turn to Emmett questioningly.

He looked shocked, as if we had just accused him of murder. I made a vow to myself to never go anywhere with him again. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow, silently telling him to spill.

"What's with that kangaroo?" Renesmee said, tilting her head to the side as she looked at an unmoving kangaroo a short distance away that seemed very uncomfortable. Her joey's head was sticking out of her pouch, and I smiled at how cute they both were.

But there was a huge – at least, huge compared to the joey – bulge in the bottom of the pouch, and I gasped uselessly.

"_Emmett_!" I hissed, rushing over to the kangaroos alone.

The mother didn't retreat – or she couldn't retreat, I wasn't sure which was true. I moved forward slowly and looked at her for permission to move her baby. She just stared at me, so I carefully picked up the baby and put him on the ground beside me.

I looked in the pouch, pulling away quickly as Alice stuck her head out, looking irritated. She climbed right out and looked at the small pouch.

"How did I fit in there?" she muttered, shaking her head. She held her arms out to the joey, and he hopped into her arms. She put him back in the pouch and patted his head lightly. "I'm sorry," she said to the mother, who continued to stare.

"That's ridiculous," I said as we went back to where Emmett and Edward were falling over themselves laughing, while Renesmee glared. Alice walked to Emmett briskly and smacked him across the back of the head. He and Edward went quiet.

"What was that for?" Emmett asked sharply, but I knew it wasn't serious.

"You stuffed me into a kangaroo's pouch!" Alice scolded him. "That's probably the dumbest thing you've ever done."

He just shrugged. "Well, you're out now. And the kangaroo's fine. So, without further ado –" he paused for an overdramatic bow "– let us move on to emu territory."

__________

How could they _not_ notice Emmett coming up behind them? The emus just stood there while Emmett fabricated his plans and snuck up on them. I closed my eyes and shook my head, wondering how in the world someone could be so childish after nearly one hundred years of life.

I didn't need to see what happened next. Emmett stopped a foot away from the two emus, reaching out and grabbing their feathers and laughing when they squawked and ran away. I opened my eyes and saw Emmett snicker and set his sights on two more emus a few yards away.

Renesmee stood on my right, Edward on my left. We just watched Emmett's idiotic adventures. Alice sat on the ground, looking at Emmett with a frustrated expression. Ness touched my hand and I saw the words _he's an idiot_ in my head. I nodded slowly, and Edward grinned.

Emmett grabbed the emus, and one ran away. The other one turned around sharply and screeched at him, snapping and charging him away.

"You just upset a mother," Alice said, rolling her eyes. Emmett shrugged and started walking back, looking proud of his stupid acts.

"That's animal cruelty," I scolded him. "Honestly. You're being ridiculous."

"Rose wouldn't be happy," Edward put in, raising an eyebrow. "Should we tell her what you've been up to?" It didn't sound much like an innocent question – it was more of a threat. And Edward _knew_ Rosalie would be angry.

Emmett frowned and crossed his big arms. "Fine," he said, like a spoiled child.

I rolled my eyes and turned away, saying, "Emmett, you're such an idiot."

__________

_Oh no,_ I thought, ready to groan out loud. _Not the koalas..._

Could his stupidity never end? Honestly, I was just waiting for this day to end. I turned to Edward and sighed. "Get me out of here," I mumbled, wishing to be away from my brother and somewhere... not near him.

Edward put his arms around me and smiled. "He's almost done. He just wants to piss these animals off, and then we can go."

"Can't we just ditch him with Alice and get on a plane?"

"I heard that," Alice called, scratching under a happy koala's chin. "You're not leaving without me." She put her hand down, and the koala picked it up, asking her to keep scratching.

"They're _so cute_," Emmett cooed, teasing another koala with a leaf that he kept pulling away as the bear stretched its arms out. "It's hard to believe they all have Chlamydia."

"Not _all_ of them," Renesmee said, rolling her eyes as she rocked her own koala back and forth like a baby. "You can't just stereotype them like that." The bear fell asleep in her arms, and she set him carefully back in his tree, where he curled up for a nap.

I smiled but stayed away. Last time all three of them were playing with animals, I was thrown off a moose, destroying a bunch of trees that were in the way of me and my landing. I didn't want to give the koalas an excuse to abuse me like that moose had.

"Ohmygod!" Emmett yelled, picking up an especially cute koala bear and holding it up. "Vampire koala pet!"

"Emmett –" Edward started to say, but the rest of his sentence disappeared when Emmett bit into the koala's butt. It screamed and tried to squirm away, and Emmett almost threw it at Renesmee.

She took the koala willingly and started rocking it gently. It wasn't long before it stopped whining, and then it fell asleep. She cradled the bear lovingly and said, "She's so pretty. We should name her."

My jaw dropped to the ground, and I had never felt more betrayed. My own daughter had turned to the dark side for a pet koala that might not live through the transformation. Renesmee looked up at Edward, and I knew she was begging to keep the bear if it survived. He looked at me pointedly and said, "Sure, we can keep her."

Renesmee laughed with delight, and she turned to me. "I'm naming her Izzy," she said excitedly.

There was no way to express what I felt when the koala earned the first half of my name.

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_I need help! For one, more hits and reviews would be nice. For two... if you want to to continue this, I need some new locations (and some information about them) that offers Emmett a fun time. Thanks._


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